First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize