Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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