your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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