I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
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I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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