I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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