ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize