this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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