i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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