yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Randomize