3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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