Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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