you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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