I puked a lego.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize