she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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