Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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