So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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