is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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