so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
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they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
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It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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