well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
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Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
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It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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