I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
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Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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