dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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