God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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