I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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