What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize