If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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