she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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