Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize