I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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