sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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