I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
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Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
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PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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