Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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