meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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