first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize