I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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