I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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