I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize