I'm jealous of your bromance
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize