I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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