For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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