I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize