I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize