If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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