No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize