none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize