just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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