When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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