i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
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do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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