Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize