I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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