just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
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